Sterlingrad vs. THe world
Tom Ball
Well, that was okay, wasn't it? Here we are a week and a half after overcoming Germany, in a major final for the first time in 55 years. This is a critical moment. You could tell that the players knew what they had achieved. Beating Germany wasn't it; we cannot put our national team's pride down to victory of a singular nation. The players felt a taste of their inspiration after that match but remained intensely focused on taking an opportunity they had created for themselves rather than enjoying that they just had that opportunity.
Each of these games has seen England break barriers and silence critics with different avenues. Victory over Germany broke a hoodoo over an old foe that never seemed like it was going to die. Ukraine saw this 'too boring',' too pragmatic' manager dismantle an opposition with exceptional merit away in Rome instead of the comfiness of Wembley. Finally, Wednesday night not only broke the semi-final heartache but also presented this squad with their first true sense of adversity. An early free-kick from Christian Eriksen replacement Mikkel Damsgaard stunned Wembley.
I slouched in my seat, saying to the people around that I'd seen this before. Portugal in 2006, Germany in 2010, Italy in 2012, Iceland in 2016 and Croatia in 2018 were coming back to me; the frustration, the disbelief and the dread is something that is all too familiar as an England fan. But was the past still too overbearing for this nation?
Of course, this numbing thought process lasted just a few minutes. Another contribution from the 'Boy from Brent'. His presence in the 6-yard box was rewarded after a beautiful Harry Kane pass played Bukayo Saka in behind the danish defence, Simon Kjaer turned the ball into his own net. A poll has emerged since the game to rename London to 'Sterlingrad'. A beautiful piece in The Players' Tribune and a piece by ITV covered Raheem Sterling's vilification in the early years of his career. A man who is always up against it, a scapegoat, a man who shouldn't have been starting according to many not long ago has won the nation's hearts. All just a stone's throw away from where he was raised. He has spoken about the long bus journeys, the sacrifices his mother and sister made for him. His aim was clearly only ever to repay that; he certainly hasn't forgotten it.
We could speak about the football. However, there was no reason for this game to be lost. England were the better side and had a measured but considerable hold on Denmark. Just like every other game in this tournament. Yet it's the character that sticks out. The players and management staff joined the sixty-seven thousand in attendance in a rendition of Sweet Caroline. There was no hiding what they had achieved this time. Although celebrations suitable of EURO Final qualification, the moment emotionally reflected a unity within the players that had transferred to the entire nation. There is no doubt the last eighteen months have been a rollercoaster, yet, even those not quite attuned to football are revelling at the sight of the entire nation in euphoria.
England Football has taken advantage of social media to provide fans with appropriate accessibility. YouTube videos showing training sessions and life inside St. Georges Park. The videos display the compassion, friendship and togetherness within the camp. The chemistry and dynamics within the squad do not fail in charming. It would make many fans forget about their own club loyalties. Gareth Southgate was privileged but also tasked with handling not just twenty-six players but twenty-six people. However, not one of those players seems unhappy or unsettled. They all trust each other, and that transfers onto the pitch. They now have an unbreakable bond, a bond we fans now feel as well. We will now always love these players, even though we'll be screaming expletives at most of them come August.
Much of this unity and passion is yet to be felt outside of England. Many European publications have shamed our national side for the events of Wednesday night. Charlie Eccleshare of The Athletic wrote about how Italian publication Gazette Dello Sport "made the bizarre claim that the "generous penalty" given to England "confirms the suspicions of a return of a favour" from UEFA to prime minister Boris Johnson for his role in stopping the European Super League from taking off". Without being too witty, It's somewhat hypocritical of the Italian media to comment on England's navigation of the rules considering their own national side's pantomimes, especially in their Quarter-Final against Belgium. It's easy to get sucked into a back and forth around the decisions made in the game. I'm sure the United Kingdom's political behaviour hasn't lent much help to gaining allies in this fight over recent years.
In the Round-of-16, when Thomas Müller ran through on goal and dragged his chance at an equaliser wide, Guy Mowbray on commentary proclaimed, "that never used to happen". When we England fans look back at Lampard's disallowed goal, the hand of God, Ronaldo's wink, we feel slightly vindicated if a guilt edge decision goes our way. An unpunished moment of blatant cheating against us in a World Cup is the universal symbol of Diego Maradona's immortality. Yes, it was a long time ago, but many celebrate that moment's iconic nature to this day. It's laughable to suggest that decisions going our way when Wembley is at its loudest proves some sort of history of favouritism. We have been at the brunt end of it for decades.
There is no doubt that the pressure the players were applying on their opposition meant all signs lead to them giving in. Denmark were tired while we were stringing together over fifty straight passes in possession. England clearly outlasted their opponents on Tuesday. It was a masterclass in game management and patience. Even if it may be biased, it is my feeling that if the goal were not to come from a penalty, it was to come from somewhere else. I have seen astronomically more significant injustices on UEFA's watch.
We now turn our attention to Italy. Deserved finalists and a thoughtful expression in inventive and positive football, our most formidable challenge yet. Although Denmark took the lead against us, they were never really a threat. I'm never really here for predictions. The game can go either way. England have another job to complete. This game comes at the right time. The players are ideally tested yet profoundly confident; it feels like our nation's time. Before the Germany game, I spoke about how it would define Southgate. Now, those question marks are all off the table, you know, I know, the nation knows that this game can be won. However, whether it should be is a complex debate. The severe lack of confidence and inspiration many had going into the tournament feels like an eternity ago. A brilliant performance is essentially inevitable; it's whether that performance is enough.
Before we go out for what will, no matter what, be the final game of an unforgettable summer in a year like nothing we have ever experienced, we must all give the sincerest thank you to the 26 players, the management staff and the entire nation in bringing us the joy we had been gasping for. In a year where football players took matters into their own hands on many different issues, it's only fitting they turn around the emotions of a nation driven into the ground by those employed to tackle those issues. So thank you, England, we will never forget it.
THE ENGLAND BOSS’ DEFINING MOMENT
Tom Ball
Perhaps a man who has managed a World Cup Semi-Final would be no stranger to games like the one on Tuesday afternoon. However, England v Germany comes with an added pressure. A type of pressure only Gareth Southgate may have felt before.
Southgate had faced the fierce rivals twice before, two friendlies in 2017, which only produced one Lukas Podolski goal and another goalless stalemate. However, that was before the World Cup and in the infancy of Southgate's reign as boss. Four years on, and Southgate is preparing to face a German side in a major tournament for the first time since his famous penalty miss in a shootout loss in EURO 96 just 25 years ago, an omen, perhaps?
Despite Southgate experiencing the rare moment of a World Cup Semi-Final, Tuesday's match will undoubtedly define him. Despite being an avid defender of the England Boss, it would be naive to say that this game shouldn't be the most critical judgment call. Many believe that the World Cup run fell in his lap with a favourable draw, and we fell when we first faced a truly elite challenge. In the job over 4 years now, Southgate has cultivated a relationship with Captain and Vice-Captain Harry Kane and Jordan Henderson. Furthermore, he has created a buzzing and enlivened environment for these players to operate in. It's time for that work to pay off.
Compared to 2018, the squad is more talented, technical, deeper and more experienced in key areas. We are facing an old foe in Germany that have lost their stardust. Joachim Low has had a tumultuous three years since their dramatic World Cup exit. The axing of three veteran players in Muller, Hummels and Boateng, but then welcoming their reintroduction and a situation involving Mesut Ozil reared some ugly heads. This isn't Germany that we know and fear. It's a vulnerable and nervous Germany.
I would like to proclaim a "no excuses" attitude, but tournament football can throw up anything, as the last few days have taught us. However, Southgate has had the best part of five years to build a team that can and should be at the very top of the international game. His World Cup exploits got the nation dreaming again, yet they were in his job's adolescence. The exit of teams like the Netherlands and France has presented an unrivalled, extraordinary opportunity for Gareth and his men in the last few days. An oppurtunity that can only be taken with a win on Tuesday afternoon.
The FA has been searching for a manager to win England games like this. The Three Lions have a scarred history of falling short when having to rise to a challenger of this magnitude. If the rumours about Southgate already being offered a new contract that will take him beyond the Next World Cup are true, losing this game will raise questions about the FA's thought process. When Mark Bullingham and his team watch the team train and observe the talent their grassroots system has graduated, why should we settle for just 'giving it a go' in these games? The semi-final in 2018 was a game that ended in the country being proud of the coaching staff and players. However, defeat on Tuesday, under the Wembley Arch, with the players' opportunity in front of them, would undoubtedly be a major disappointment.
I am reluctant to feed into the cynicism I have previously scolded over. I have a massive belief that England can and should win on Tuesday, yet I cannot look past the discourse around this game. Southgate is still yet convinced much of the England fanbase. The somewhat less inspiring group stage performances have fed into this. A tournament exit in this context would evermore baffle the England fanbase if it was swiftly followed by a contract extension. It is mere lunacy for the FA to decide on Southgate's future in the lead up to a Round of 16 match against Germany. Whether those decisions are positive or not, Southgate is yet to prove any ability to win games of this magnitude. Croatia was a great team that may have been underestimated, but the weight and importance that comes with a knockout match against Die Mannschaft is a whole different level. Something much of this squad is not used to but Gareth Southgate is.
Therefore, this is the team selection, preparation and execution that will define Gareth Southgate as England boss. The FA certainly believe he is the man to move forward with. Then this game is his to seize. We cannot settle for pride like we did 3 years ago. We must expect victory. It would be counterintuitive to not. However, the question remains, do the FA agree with that sentiment?
SOUTHGATE, Expectation AND CYNICISM
Tom Ball
Gareth Southgate's EURO warm-up has been nothing short of tricky. The provisional 33-man squad can be seen as a smart move, giving as many players as possible a taste of the international stage while allowing him to keep his options open. However, it did just delay his decision of who were to be the final twenty-six.
Chelsea, Manchester City and Manchester United's involvement in the European Finals lead to an extended absence for ten of the thirty-three players he named. Ten who were perhaps shoe-ins for that finalised group. The absence of these players led to much of those involved in the warm-up friendlies against Austria and Romania knew they were not going to be on the pitch come competition time.
We cannot escape the gutting injury to Trent Alexander-Arnold and the questionable fitness of leaders Jordan Henderson and Harry Maguire. Southgate has most certainly not had things easy this summer. Many will insist that these issues were avoidable, and many will say it is a byproduct of the strangeness of this season.
Nevertheless, what is inarguable is the silent expectation that is almost uncannily contradicted by a cloud of cynicism. An expectation coming from the electrifying group of young attacking talent lead by a supreme captain in Harry Kane. Jack Grealish and Phil Foden go into the England fray for their first major tournament off the back of a season that has shot the pair into the stratosphere. Jack seems to remind everyone of the enigmatic and iconic Paul Gascoigne, while Foden took the comparisons more literally with a brand new blonde barnet reminiscent of Gazza's EURO 96' look.
That tournament was the last one to be hosted in England. With Wembley taking centre stage in 2021’s multinational version of the tournament, many hope for some memorable moments just like Gazza’s goal against the Scots, who just so happen to be our Matchday 2 opponents.
Let's not get too involved in any romanticism. While the players on the pitch are driving inspiration. There is a man in the dugout who continues to divide that inspiration—a man who once carried the hope of this nation on his back just three years ago.
"Southgate you're the one" was being screamed in every pub, living room and fan park across England while England got to its first World Cup semi-final and since 1990. Of course, that ended with heartbreak. However, many came out of that tournament feeling proud. Throughout the country's golden generation, we were exposed to drab, soulless displays that left a sour taste in the mouths of England fans that are yet to waiver. A clear disbelief of names like Lampard, Gerrard, Terry, Ferdinand, Cole and Rooney stinking out the place created an inescapable aura of pessimism. 2018 restored that, A well respected and model professional in Harry Kane succeeded an unfairly criticised and divisive Wayne Rooney as captain. At the same time, the team welcomed a group of young stars excited to play with one another.
Southgate has come under a little more criticism from a footballing perspective recently. His adoption of a 3/5 at the back became an incredibly stubborn and organised system that proved difficult to beat and engineered some brilliant performances. However, the lightning fast rise of players like Jack Grealish, Phil Foden, Jadon Sancho, Jude Bellingham, Bukayo Saka and Mason Mount to add to Harry Kane, Marcus Rashford and Raheem Sterling has seen a shift into the fans desire for a more daring, attractive system that will see these players thrive. There is no doubt that the enjoyment of a fluid, possession-based game played through a 4-3-3 does seem like the dream. However, we have to look at this a bit more realistically.
Many successful national teams have played a more structured and robust system that utilises the strengths of more specific players rather than just shoving as much talent on the pitch as possible. If you take a look at reigning world champions, France, Olivier Giroud caught a lot of attention for not scoring or assisting during Les Bleus' triumph. However, while that point stands, France still won. His contribution was clearly enough for him to start most of the tournament, including the Final. Furthermore, 2006 champions Italy prided themselves on imperious defence and stubborness.
The outliers are obviously teams like Brazil and Spain. Brazil has produced some of the most extraordinary talents the game has ever seen. However, their entire footballing identity has complemented these flair-filled talents from Garrincha to Zico to Ronaldinho to Ronaldo Nozario to Neymar. On the other hand, Spain dominated the international stage when their club teams dominated the club stage. The entire team was made up of Real Madrid and Barcelona players who understood a distinct footballing identity built within Spain.
There is a reason England never had this allure; we do not have great managers. The footballing identity has never had tactical exoticism. This is not a knock on Southgate; he stumbled into the job after the embarrassing Sam Allardyce scandal and brought England to their best finish in almost 30 years.
However, there is no secret that England has stalled in its production of truly brilliant managers. No Englishman has ever actually won the English Premier League, and if I were to line up all the possible replacements if Southgate were to leave right now, I can't imagine you'd even flinch for any of them.
Our domestic game has created a group of six clubs that dominated its riches. At the same time, they pay foreign managers like Jurgen Klopp, Pep Guardiola and Thomas Tuchel insane money to come in and implement the philosophy of their native footballing institutions. While this is brilliant for the Premier League, our national team suffers. We expect to see this brilliant football from the Three Lions when there isn't the culture to support that sort of philosophy.
If we are willing to accept our national team being lead by a foreign man, we can begin to have a conversation about the future of Gareth Southgate. However, if we are looking to keep it within house, we must understand its limitations and frustrations. As mentioned before, the England football structure was in a very bad place a decade ago. The players of that generation have even admitted since the struggles within the camp. Southgate has overcome the first task. Many of today’s stars have touched on the togetherness, a togetherness the national set up was sorely lacking previously. This is something Southgate has mastered. The tactical set up over the team can, most likely, be put put down to his Steve Holland-led coaching team just as much as Southgate himself. Southgate’s biggest influence clearly comes a man manager.
The national team set up is a very complex dynamic when compared to club level. You have a group of players who, apart from three of them, all play against each other in an incredibly competitive league. While the other top national sides have players competing in all different leagues around the world. There is a uniqueness to this dynamic in the England camp when it is compared to other top nations in the world.
This is something that held back the national team, especially before Southgate took over. It is also very clear however, that Southgate has changed this. There should be an awareness that this is a job that many have tried and failed at and Gareth, based on track record, is certainly the best we have had at it this century. This does not mean expectations should be lowered but just a tad more carefully considered.
THE FOXES COMPOUND ESL FAILURES WITH CUP GLORY
Tom Ball
As a Chelsea fan, Saturday afternoon hurt a lot. On the other hand, it’s undeniable the success story my team had to fall at the expense of. Leicester City are about to finish above ESL founding members; Spurs and Arsenal for the second season running and have added an FA Cup to the Premier League title they won 5 years ago. It’s quite the story for a club that scraped survival from the top flight just 6 years ago.
Leicester have elbowed their way into the country’s elite while the others cowardly plotted an escape from such challenge. All of those supposed 'big six' clubs have seen the Foxes take at least 3 points off them this season. It begs the question, How on earth have they done it? Their title-winning campaign triggered a 5-year long raid of their club. Harry Maguire, Ben Chilwell, N’golo Kante and Riyad Mahrez are just some of the names that swapped Leicester for ‘bigger’ clubs since the miracle of 2015/16. Losing players of this calibre whilst sustaining excellence has to be impossible for a club like Leicester.
Despite that success under Claudio Ranieri, many will say that this team they have today is better. More technical, physical, powerful and full of confidence. Although they have been ravaged by injuries all season, every single man who has been called upon to come in has stepped up. 19-year-old Luke Thomas looking like a man with five years experience and fresh off a sumptuous volley at Old Trafford, was only in the team this season because of James Justin’s horrific injury. Wesley Fofana became a sensation when he stepped in for Çağlar Söyüncü. The Turk was imperious for the midlands club last season and his absence was expected to be a problem for Brendan Rodgers. Whilst we have seen the the most uncharacteristic dip in form from Jamie Vardy, outcast Kelechi Iheanacho has suddenly lit up the King Power in compensation.
The injury to Aymeric Laporte seemed to derail Manchester City’s title defence last season. This season, we have seen Liverpool look a shadow of themselves in the absence of Virgil Van Dijk. In the last week, Manchester United have looked lost defensively without Harry Maguire. Leicester have this incredible tendency to plug every hole like it’s not even there. What Brendan Rodgers has achieved at the club alongside its exemplary owners is something that should be celebrated across the football landscape.
It was celebrated on the pitch as Kasper Schmeichel escorted chairman Aiyawatt 'Top' Srivaddhanaprabha onto the Wembley grass to celebrate with his players. No disingenuous token thumbs up from a directors box or treatment of players as employees, just camaraderie from a man who was forced to take the reigns of a football club after the tragic death of his father just two-and-a-half years ago. Finally, seeing a success that stands as retribution and a tribute to the late Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha.
The power of the ‘big six’ is still very much present and more attempts on a heist on football will inevitably be made in the future. But for now, we should celebrate this day as a middle finger to the absentee owners. Owners like Joel Glazer, Stan Kroenke, John W. Henry, Daniel Levy, Sheikh Mansour and even my Roman Abramovich should take notice of Leicester’s triumph. While their fans march in anger outside their state of the art facilities, Leicester City are getting all the monetary return they would like, just by doing this thing called running a football club, as a football club. Some will say that they got lucky winning that Premier League title 5 years ago and have reaped the rewards ever since. However, many successful people will say you make your own luck and those people tend to be businessmen, ironically.
Let's not kid ourselves, these owners are very aware of Leicester's success but instead of standing up to challenge they look to run from it. They see their clubs in free-fall but all they know is the money in their pocket. They don't understand that employing an accountant as Director of Football is a recipe for disaster. They have manifested this complex that all problems can be solved if you have all the money in the world. However, Football is unlike anything in the business world. It runs deeper than structure and capitalism. Football clubs are institutions that are older than 99% of the people living today. Manchester United fans sent a message two weeks ago. These clubs are spiritually owned by their fanbases and they will have their way. Owners like 'Top' thrive of that structure, that connection, that passion. He has risen to the challenge and is coming out on top, no pun intended.
THE VAR CONUNDRUM
Tom Ball
Football’s biggest villain over the last two to three years has been VAR. Every weekend there seems to be a flood of football fans providing everyone with their very explicit views on the technology. The introduction of the video assistant referee has changed the landscape of the game completely. Many would tell you for the worse, but is that really true?
We must conceded that there is flaws that have arisen since its introduction. Recent incidents involving Mike Dean have made everyone ask the relevant question; wasn’t this meant to stop decisions like this?
Now, the answer to that is yes. However, we must also remember that no matter how much technology you cake the officiating with, the decision will always be made by the human eye. Except for goal-line technology of course. Mike Dean has still made the decision himself to send Tomáš Souček off in that game against Fulham. Whether it is the right decision or not. VAR had very clearly done its job in showing the official the incident in question.
Concession by the league was made and the red card was rescinded. This was still not enough for people. Many have called for punishment to underperforming referees as well as the obligation for officials to address the press after the game. The league doesn’t allow this at this moment in time. Football’s laws were always seen as black and white so you had always known why the decision was made whether you agreed or not. VAR has thrown this stigma out completely. We are now asking the referees more questions than before. Expectation breeds disappointment.
Whatever you personally think the solution is, the common denominator is the lack of transparency. Rugby has used referee mics for years. The NFL have their officials announce the decisions over the broadcast as well as in the stadium. Many major sports have some form of communication during the game between the audience and themselves. It is quite bewildering that this is yet to be put in place in our game.
Before VAR was a thing the solution to decisions like the ones made recently was to bring in the video technology we now hate. But as you can see these decisions are still a regular occurrence. VAR has not fixed the problem and that’s why we hate it.
The biggest naivety came when VAR was brought in without any form of evolution of the rule book. The issues with offside, the uncertainty of the handball rule as well as the soft nature of what constitutes a foul are all a byproduct of that naivety.
Arsene Wenger recently presented a proposal of a change to the offside rule which is his version of the ‘clear daylight’ concept. This is a step in the right direction as many fans believe attackers are being penalised for margins the naked eye cannot account for. Armpits, elbows and hands that you literally cannot score with are putting players in offside positions. This has lead to a nationwide eye-roll every time we say the officials break out those dreaded red and blue lines. It is these lines that make the decisions yet we don’t know how it came to that decision.
Now, for the most part the offside rule is objective. It is black and white. However, many other rules like what constitutes a clear goal scoring opportunity or even what constitutes intent in a foul are subjective. Therefore, despite the new luxury of looking at a replay. Referees still have to make the decisions themselves. Which is becoming an increasingly aggravating event.
We must also be well informed when it comes to other areas of the law. Linesmen have been asked to not put their flag up for offside until a play has developed so that their actions do not interfere with play. Rui Patricio’s scary collision with his teammate Conor Coady on Monday Night lead to many people on social media blaming that rule. Short memories seem to forget that Manchester City scored a slightly unjust goal against West Brom in January because the linesman put their flag up too early. As it turns out, it was not offside and the goal stood. To West Brom’s disgust who stopped playing due to the flag going up. An instance that demonstrated the reason the rule exists.
The reaction to what happened on Monday Night shows the lack of objectivity when it comes to the law. The lack of evolution in the rulebook has lead to VAR becoming football’s biggest villain. There is no doubt that we cannot get everything right straight away but the Premier League have dug themselves into this hole. There has been a very clear flaw with the application of the technology but a severe lack of a proactive fix.
Things cannot happen all at once. The handball rule has been changed going into next season. There has to be many discussions as well as democracy between the teams in the league as to whether changes are welcomed. If we were to just get rid of the technology we would be dozens of season-altering missed calls away from wanting a different version of it back again. We asked for this, but yet we should at least expect an adaptability to it. It was never going to be faultless.
MESSI BOWS OUT WITH A CONTINENTAL PARTING GIFT
Tom Ball
Barcelona’s confident and structured performance against Paris-Saint Germain served as a consolation as the Parisian’s first-leg demolition all but wrapped the tie up at the half-way stage. The full-time result didn’t tell the full story as The Blaugrana’s good form continued but the first-leg deficit was always going to be an uphill battle.
Koeman’s side have seen a small resurgence. A comeback win over Sevilla in the second leg of their Copa Del Rey semi-final was the highlight of an unbeaten run that goes back to the first leg of this tie. They now sit just 6 points behind Atletico Madrid who’s recent dip in form saw their firm title grip begin to tire. This period has seen Koeman begin to have an idea of what he is building at the Camp Nou. Whether he leaves or not, they need to start thinking about life after Lionel Messi. That’s easier said than done. There quite literally isn’t a player in the history of the sport that could fill that void. Depending on who you ask I guess. However, the Spanish giants have been shipwrecked by the Bartomeu regime. The Neymar money disintegrated as three rash, impatient transfers unsurprisingly looked like missteps. Moreover, the running of the club slowly pushed out its greatest ever player. Now, we are yet to found out the fate of Lionel Messi. Despite this, an inevitability is still casting a shadow. A round of 16 exit, even to a team like PSG is never a good advertisement that you are going in the right direction. And for all the recent form is worth, Koeman fails to inspire when it comes to turning the fortunes around. Not when he has a reunion with his good friend Neymar and fellow countryman Mauricio Pochettino on the table. As well as, a reunion with his best ever coach in Manchester also in play.
Despite looking at his lowest these last few months while seeing the world turn their attention to the new guard in France and Germany. There is no doubt that on his day the best player in the world still resides in Catalonia. Yes he missed a well saved penalty, but we couldn’t ignore the strike that put Barcelona back on terms. The definition of a thunderbolt, something we don’t normally see from the little man. The strike itself looked very much like a release of pent up rage. Perhaps from another dumbfounded call made by an English ref that saw Kylian Mbappe gifted his fourth goal of the tie. It could also be the frustration. The frustration that he shares with his great rival Cristiano Ronaldo. Who also dropped out of Europe’s elite competition last night. The two have been in their latter years for a little while now. Their unprecedented best is not enough for either of them. Yet they still find a way to remind us they’re still here. It’s now the first time neither of the two will be in the Quarter-finals of Europe’s elite competition since the 2004-05 campaign. Another statistic that outlines the decline of both’s success and reminds us that age remains too powerful for even the gods of the game.
Both owned this competition for a decade. Ronaldo capped off his first Ballon D’or winning season with his first European Cup in 2008. 7 victories between them later, Ronaldo departed Real Madrid by rounding off their 3rd on the bounce. The next season, Ronaldo’s Juve fell victim to Ajax. Not long after that, Lionel Messi’s incredible display in a first-leg against Liverpool was cancelled out in a famous night at Anfield. Since then, the two have seen their continental chances fade slowly. Barcelona are in disarray on and off the field. Juve haven’t been the same since losing the pragmatic; Max Allegri. This has prompted rumours that both men are set to leave their respective clubs. Messi certainly holds the more concrete side to that debate. He tried to get out last summer of course but to no avail. It is common knowledge that the Argentine has the option to leave for free in June. While, financially Juve’s Ronaldo bet paid off. It is very clear to see that it did not on the footballing side.
It begs to question as to what the future holds for both of these players. My guess would be that you see Cristiano Ronaldo in the black and white of the Old Lady come the start of next season. Messi however, is a completely different story. Many will tell you he is to blame for Barcelona’s Champions League failures in recent years. Many believe the club let him down. There is no doubt there is a rift and although Bartomeu’s exit may have healed some wounds. It’s seems too little too late. As mentioned before, both Manchester City and PSG seem like they work from a personal perspective. His good friend Sergio Aguero is in Manchester and his other friend Neymar is in Paris. While his former boss Pep Guardiola also resides in England’s north east. There is no doubt that these two are gonna be the frontrunner for his signature. They are the only ones who can afford it mind you.
Whatever happens we most certainly will see Lionel Messi on the European stage at least one more time. Although, It is looking increasingly likely that it won’t be at the Nou Camp. The stage for this great magicians illusions over the last 12 years. We must realise that Wednesday night may have signalled the end of an era in Catalonia. An era the world will miss. Well, maybe not some people in Madrid. His 5 goals against Bayer Leverkusen. His 4 against Arsenal. His magical brace against Bayern. His hat-trick against Liverpool. And of course, that famous night against PSG. We have seen many incredible midweek Messi moments down the years. It was unsurprising he treated us to one more this time.
Liverpool are in free fall, but who is expected to provide a landing mat?
Tom Ball
On Sunday, Liverpool lost their SIXTH game in a row at Anfield. After not losing the SIXTY EIGHT before that. A ‘niggling injury problem’ that went to a ‘rut that is expected to pass’ has now turned into ‘full blown panic stations, we are going down very quickly’. Not down from the Premier League of course. Let’s not mask Fulham’s win at the weekend as a relegation six pointer.
Evidently, that’s a bit of tongue ‘n cheek. However, every team that visits Anfield seems to be more confident than Liverpool themselves. These statements really do give the current pandemic a run for its money in terms of ‘unprecedented times’. Even through Liverpool’s post-Rafa years, that are looked back as a very dark time for the club. They could always rely on fortress Anfield and a full Kop to lead them to glory on any given night. It is worth mentioning that the stadium is empty at games but that’s a frail excuse when you look at the point Jurgen Klopp’s men are at now.
So why are they at this point? and why haven’t a team who hasn’t put a foot wrong for almost 3 years, not provided any sort of resolution? The loss of Jurgen Klopp’s mother has to be disclaimed. This tragic worldwide health crisis means he cannot engage in his own chosen grieving process. We can only assume that Liverpool Football Club, the players and the Premier League have provided the upmost support to the german. Not being able to have social contact with family makes a sad time even more painful. I think I speak for everyone when we say that managers like Jurgen make our game as great as it is. It pains even the harshest of opponents to see one of the game’s most infectious minds going through such an awful time off the field.
We cannot get stuck in a trap. It’s become impulsive for us to turn straight to a manager when it all goes wrong. The nature of our game means that they are the first to go. The loneliness of their job means they can get stuck on an island. Therefore, we must also look at the players. In the red’s loss to Chelsea. Mohammed Salah was subbed off at the earliest point in a game since September 2017. He was on substituted on that day as a victim of a tactical reshuffle that was prompted by a red card Sadio Mane received against Manchester City. The Egyptian is trusted by his coach and the performances have been provided in return. It is rumoured that Jurgen was unhappy with the forward’s response to being asked to track back and took him off. Much like Thomas Tuchel’s recent incident with Callum Hudson-Odoi at St. Mary’s. Luckily for Salah, he had actually started the game. The winger hasn’t been out of the goals. He never is. On the contrary goals are an easy mask for what has been a dip in form. His performances alongside Roberto Firmino and Sadio Mane, that have always been Anfield’s star attraction, have been nothing short of awful. They look much closer to the price tag Liverpool bought them for and not the price tag many would now value them at. This is the in today’s market, a market where Alvaro Morata is still apparently worth upwards of £40 million.
This is telling. Liverpool’s players have completely lost the intensity and belief at which they would find wins in games if they didn’t play well. The best version of this Liverpool team was the one that came second to City. However, the reason they won last year was because no matter how bad they played or how well their opponent played. They would always win. To a point where you could not bet against them. ‘Mentality Monsters’ was the phrase coined by their coach. This has now been flipped by Jamie Carragher on Sky Sports to ‘Mentality Midgets’. The Champions look disinterested and dejected. More worryingly, they look completely out of ideas. Even against teams like Fulham, Brighton and Burnley. Now you may say that it is hard to get up for games like that. However, they’ve been outworked and outdone by Manchester City, a team that couldn’t buy a win at Anfield in recent years, and Chelsea, a team that famously ruined their last title challenge on merseyside a few years ago. They also would have fallen to their biggest rivals; Manchester United, if it weren’t for some Alisson heroics. They are struggling in the big games too. You saw a morbid Arsenal pull out a brilliant performance against an in form Chelsea on Boxing Day. Furthermore, a sleepwalking City, looked bored of winning, and deservedly beaten by their red neighbours just after we saw Liverpool’s loss at Anfield. Even teams out on their feet are getting up for these games.
We cannot ignore the injury crisis. The hypotheticals have always been laid out. What were to happen if Van Dijk got injured. Well now we know. But most wouldn’t have envisaged this. Of course, they have lost all three of their first choice centre backs. Not just the dutchman. However, this can be put down to Liverpool’s complacency in the transfer market. They have never been outright obnoxious spenders like the Manchester Clubs. Klopp seems to enjoy keeping things the same. This mentality has come back to haunt them. A popular talking point was that Liverpool’s area to strengthen came at a competent, first class partner for the imperious Virgil Van Dijk. The red’s sold Dejan Lovren in the summer and were left with Joe Gomez and Joel Matip. Two good centre backs that have served as good partners for the dutchman but have always been injury prone. These two had been shuffling that position for a while and still couldn’t stay fit. They were never going to be able to if they both had to play every game. Matip got i cured mid-way through January but even when Van Dijk went down at the start of the season, we immediately said they needed to sign one. The deal for Ozan Kabak was great, loan with option to buy allows them to stick to their transfer model if required in the summer. One can only tell why that and the Ben Davies deal didn’t happen until deadline day. This meant that neither were up to speed for the visit from City.
We all know what this has done to their midfield. Klopp felt inclined to put Fabinho and Henderson, two guys he trusts most, into defence. This has taken them out of midfield. A midfield who’s unorthodox dirty work was a part of what made this team so unstoppable.
Another player who has struggled is Trent Alexander-Arnold. The kid was a sensation, after being praised by Steven Gerrard; Klopp made the kid his first choice right back and he never looked back. The local lad has a right foot every kid dreamed of having and can only be likened to one David Beckham. His right foot is good for nothing when you’re on the back foot and Trent has learnt that the hard way. A really tough evening, where he was ran ragged by fellow countryman and former red; Raheem Sterling, exposed the full-back’s defensive weaknesses. The high and wide position he takes up means that you can get in behind him but his absent defensive leader was always so good in providing that solidity for him. We have to recognise that the England Right-Back exists in a time where full backs aren’t known for this side of the ball anymore. However, Andy Robertson on the other side has really shown how important his all round game is to Liverpool this game. This also doesn’t mean that the defensive side of the game doesn’t exist anymore. Trent once touched on a game he had against Marcus Rashford at Old Trafford and how getting shown up inspired him to improve. However, that was one draw in a title winning season. This is a whole different test.
The solution is not to sack Jurgen Klopp. No matter how hipster or profound you try and spin it. It’s still, at least at this stage, complete nonsense. This club and him are a great marriage going though a slight falling out. The love is still there and breaking things off shouldn’t be in each parties realm of thinking. Unfortunately, this is something the coach will be judged the most on. Klopp got stuck in a free fall at Dortmund but when Bayern Munich are mugging you every time you step outside the house it’s hard to maintain a certain level of value.
We will see whether Klopp is made of right stuff. At first you were just thinking that they would find their way through it like all great teams do. This is now going way beyond that, you are now struggling to see where it ends. Klopp has more than earned the time to prove he can get them back to where they want to be. Fenway Sports Group and John W. Henry are smart enough to realise Roman Abramovich has his own way of doing things. It doesn’t mean you should do the same.
Tinkering Tuchel justifies Chelsea’s managerial chopping block.
Tom Ball
Thomas Tuchel marked his tenth game in charge on Chelsea with 1-0 win away at Anfield on Sunday. Now, if we had displayed that headline before Christmas the reaction would be much different to what it is. Jurgen Klopp’s men have now lost their last five league games on merseyside after going unbeaten in the 68 league games before that. Perhaps putting an asterisk onto the blues’ performance meaning the league’s freshest face may not receive the praise a win at Liverpool would have warranted just weeks ago.
Let’s not kid ourselves. Tuchel received his praise for his team’s performance at the weekend. It was thoroughly deserved. Despite this, the reds’ free fall has been top of the debate agenda and there is good reason for that. It’s remarkable. On the other hand, this result comes in a two week period where Chelsea went unbeaten against Liverpool, Manchester United and La Liga’s high flyers; Atletico Madrid. Many would argue this wouldn’t of happened before the turn of the new year when Frank Lampard was in charge. Chelsea lacked belief and a robust tactical structure towards the back end of the club legend’s reign.
Lampard’s dismissal came as a sad day for not Chelsea fans’ but many football fans’ in general. Seeing another very promising and bright young English manager get dispatched is never welcomed. This league is still yet to produce a winning manager from it’s own country. Much of the reaction to Frank’s sacking was understandably suggesting that more time was needed for him to gain some stability after the massive financial injection the squad received last summer. We can call naivety or impatience and lambast ‘The Chelsea Way’. But that anger is misdirected. The mistake came in hiring Frank in the first place. Not because of an overestimated evaluation into his ability as a coach. The benefit of hindsight allows us to recognise that Chelsea’s board were never going to waiver from their high standards. Many wouldn’t contest that they had to. But they didn’t, not even for the club’s greatest ever player. Did they expect Frank to challenge heavily for the title? It’s unrealistic to look at the whole different universe Liverpool and Manchester City had created for themselves and expect that sort of improvement. Furthermore, the rejuvenation Manchester United had received the second half of last season with the arrival of Bruno Fernandes meant the League was improving with them. If Lampard’s dismissal was purely due to on the pitch issues. Then the mistake came in the summer of 2019 when they chose him as the man to lead an essentially impossible up tick in success.
Now, the Chelsea board will be happy with the decision they made. Tuchel has made Chelsea into one of the most confident and well drilled outfits in Europe. I was personally not convinced by the German. His spells at Mainz and Dortmund received success but never eclipsed his compatriot Klopp’s famous Lewandowski-lead Dortmund. A team that battered Mourinho’s Real Madrid on their way to a Champions League final. Yes, Tuchel got to the final himself in August but PSG struggled to break teams down at times in the competition. Which seems quite impossible when you have Kylian Mbappe and Neymar at your disposal. Nonetheless, PSG had a difference. Mbappe and Neymar are so big you almost have to let them play how they want to. At Chelsea, Tuchel has England’s second deepest squad and multiple top players in each position.
He used this depth to his advantage over these three games. In all three games, Chelsea were missing centre-back Thiago Silva. This problem was easily fixed by Andreas Christensen who was drafted in and was man of the match at Anfield. Tuchel deployed Timo Werner through the middle of a front three. Despite Olivier Giroud’s recent form being so good. This paid off as Werner, nicknamed Turbo by his teammates, exploited Liverpool’s famed high line. Changes all over the pitch saw Ben Chilwell’s defensive ability and speed going forward meant an understandable swap for Marcos Alonso. Reece James came in for a resurgent Callum Hudson-Odoi to provide more power and defensive solidity against Andy Robertson. Finally, Jorginho came in to turn play from defensive to attack quickly by exploiting the spaces Liverpool leave because of their intense pressing. All these changes paid off as Chelsea well and truly played Liverpool off their own park.
This win came as a personal victory for Tuchel, who followed Klopp’s career path as an overachiever at Mainz to an expert nurturer of young players in Dortmund and now over to the Premier League. They both have a reputation of being endearingly likeable individuals who’s infectious enthusiasm rubs off on the players they coach. There is something about this league and its attraction to big managers. It’s without a doubt it’s most undervalued commodity. Pep Guardiola recently spoke in an interview with Rio Ferdinand for BT Sport. He touched on his affection for England and how he always thought about working here when he was at Barcelona and at Bayern Munich. It’s important the league maintains this special quality. The football is better for it.
What does this mean for Tuchel’s Chelsea now? Well they have Everton on Monday. Another test against a three-time champions league winner in Carlo Ancelotti. After coming up against managerial giants like Jurgen Klopp, Jose Mourinho and Diego Simeone in recent weeks. However, their doesn’t seem to be a challenge the blues shouldn’t relish right now.
Time will only tell how Tuchel’s tenure at Chelsea will play out. It started the best it possibly could for Antonio Conte, remember? But just a season after becoming Champions of England, Chelsea had enough of his antics. Tuchel is certainly not known for being a boards dream. You could say that it was financially smart for Abramovich to hand him just an 18 month contract. Chelsea’s way is lamented by many but some Chelsea fans will argue; it works. They are the second most successful side of the Premier League era, behind the uncatchable Manchester United, because of it. Maybe their decision to turn to a bit of German charm after a history of Italian stubbornness might just be the turning point.
Lebron was right. He should get his respect.
Tom Ball
Halfway through this condensed NBA season the Lakers sit with the third best record in the western conference, tied for the fourth best record in the league and top of Vegas’ odds to win the championship. It is no secret that their title aspirations have been called into question in recent weeks with a 4 game slide that coincided with the roster missing defensive anchors Anthony Davis and Denis Schroeder. Davis’ questionable health has been the number one gripe for the yellow and gold after he re-aggravated tendonitis in his achilles. The big man is expected to return at some point after the All-Star break. However, the press have taken this into account while watching a certain team in New York’s borough of Brooklyn. The Nets have rampaged to second in the other conference with an 8 game winning streak lead by Kyrie Irving and James Harden. While still missing their best player; Kevin Durant.
Title talk has well and truly kicked in. The media have resorted to their head to head matchup for this season. By their rhetoric you would have thought that the Nets and the Lakers were already in the finals. Of course this happened last year with the two teams in the city of angels. Only for everyone’s fantasy of an all LA western conference finals to be scuppered by Denver as the Clippers now famously collapsed from a 2 game lead to be sent home.
The media have ran with this and some are already seeing the Nets as run away title favourites halfway through a season which they traded half their roster just a few games into. Now obviously it’s easy to display that as a criticism without context. In that trade they did pick up serial MVP candidate and offensive alien James Harden to add to the two superstars they signed in the 2019 off-season. Their offensive firepower is undeniable and they, alongside a rejuvanated Embiid-lead 76ers, offer the two clear threats in the Eastern conference.
Despite the brilliance of the Nets’ recent run, which had them taking the heads of many of the league’s above .500 teams. This excitement with the Nets clearly lines up with the always present and nonsensical disrespect of the league’s most valuable asset and best player.
Lebron James secured is 4th championship and first with the LakeShow back in October, concluding the NBA’s incredibly well organised and efficient bubble in Orlando. After the title win Lebron now famously demanded his respect as well as the respect to the Lakers hierarchy and his coach. The season prior had seen a fascination with Kawhi Leonard’s title winning run with the Raptors ending with a finals MVP. This meant ‘The Claw’ was ready to rip away the crown from the King. Kawhi arrived in LA but across the hall of Staples in the Clipper locker room. He announced his presence with a New Balance commercial that insisted LA was his town. Only for Lebron to correct that very swiftly around a year later. Whether Kawhi and the Clips’ shortcomings are a byproduct of his and teammate Paul George’s performance or the insurmountable shadow cast over the city by their 17 time champion rivals. There is no doubt the main man in tinseltown originates from Akron, Ohio.
This has been a theme that has emerged throughout Lebron’s career. The lack of support he received from his bosses in his first spell in Cleveland followed by a humiliating collapse in 2011 against the Mavericks lead to no championships for his first 9 years in the league. Inevitable question marks about his ability to survive when lights were at their brightest followed.
He was favourite, had at the best team in the league and was already a league MVP but Lebron folded. Despite taking the first game the Heat collapse losing 4 straight. The King only averaged a tiny by his standard 17 points while his already champion teammate Dwyane Wade held his own; averaging 26. To this day this performance has been described as a truly remarkable meltdown. Lebron made things right by beating a fairly young Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook and James Harden in five games a year later. As Mike Breen called it so brilliantly, “capturing that elusive title he so desperately coveted”. Followed by Lebron saying “It’s about damn time.”, not a far stretch from what he said back in October. However, this remark was recognition. A recognition that he had failed the year before. What was then question marks; was now answers. In the decade since that Dallas series we have only had one finals without the King being involved and that was only in 2019. His first title was his second trip to the end in a run of eight in a row with two different teams.
Fast forward to now, three more titles to his name. Two memorable seven game victories over Gregg Popovich’s Spurs and the 73-9 Warriors capped off two of the greatest individuals performances we have seen in the Finals. It is a waste of time for one to try and justify that statement we all know what happened in those series. Lebron won his title with the Lakers. He proved everyone wrong who thought he was going there to be some semi-retired NBA player and movie star hybrid. He also shut anyone up that said he couldn’t do it in the Western Conference. It’ll be interesting to see where the goalposts move for these critics. That title in LA, the city that Kobe, Magic, Kareem and Shaq won in backed many of his biggest critics into a corner. Unsurprisingly, many latched onto the empty analysis that the bubble made every intangible that comes with a finals series easier to deal with. Despite nobody ever playing in that situation in the league’s history. It may be the only time a title is won in that setting. Yet that apparently doesn’t count for much, if anything, less.
That title was won in October. Just before Christmas, the NBA was back in full swing for the new season. Lebron turned 36 and the Lakers looked better than ever after acquiring Denis Schroeder in the off season. Lebron is currently favourite in Vegas to win the MVP all while the guys around him in that conversation have missed a large amount of games. You would of thought Lebron was the young gun by the insane minutes he has played. The vastly talented Nets big three have played 6 games together this season while Lebron has missed just 5 total since the start of last campaign.
When we look back on the career of ‘The Chosen One’ we can look at Dallas in 2011, the slacking at the hands of the Warriors in 2017 and 2018 and that negative finals record. However, all these low points exist in 18 years of dominance that have seen perhaps the most impressive statistical resume we have ever seen. While the guys that were meant to take his crown sit every third game and play minutes restriction with their eyes on May and June. The king of the league is playing 36 minutes every night without fail and not cheating any of us. Just like it became tradition to see Brady in the Super Bowl in February or Tiger leading every sunday. We have become a custom to seeing Lebron playing for a championship in June, unless we are in a global pandemic then its October. Many have become numb to what we are blessed with every night. If you pay to see the Lakers this season. There is one certainty, the man you paid to see will be on that court. He won’t be in a blazer or his favourite Nike Sneakers on the bench. He will be on that court in purple and gold. With the ball in his hands at 36 years old but playing like he is that kid we saw in Sacramento in 2003 but just all over again. In comparison to his 18 year career it can’t be long before he won’t be on our screens or in the box score every night. However, it still feels like we won’t truly realise what we will be losing until it is gone. If many say respect is earned then Lebron James is owed the entire house. Thank you sir. The league owes you one and you’ve got my damn respect.
SNOWPIERCER REVIEW
MASTERFULLY METAPHORICAL
MASTERFULLY METAPHORICAL
Chris Evans (right), Octavia Spencer (second from right) and John Hurt (centre) in Snowpiercer (Moho)
Tom Ball
Bong Joon Ho stole the show at the 92nd Academy Award Ceremony with the success of his class-themed comedy thriller; Parasite (2019). Famously being the first Foreign Language film to win the Academy’s most prestigious award. However, the South Korean is also responsible for a slightly less famous gem in Snowpiercer (2013). Much like the former it is a class themes Thriller with somewhat similar themes of rebellion against inequality and the wealthy. Snowpiercer takes place in 2031. For 17 years what is left of humanity has been stuck on a train that hurtles at high speed around the earth to protect the last few from an Ice Age that makes the planet inhabitable to most living species. At the end of the train are what could be seen as the the impoverished class. The very bottom of the wealth chart and are only fed through manufactured ‘protein blocks’ by the authoritarian regime lead by the enigmatic ‘Mr. Wilford’ at the front of the train. Enigma is an appropriate term as the name becomes more of a symbol of what the from of the train stands for. An unreachable bracket of society that very much reflects today’s top 1%. This impoverished class is where our protagonist Curtis (Chris Evans) resides. He remains next in line as the unofficial leader of working class. From the outset it is clear that him, his closest friend Edgar and current ‘man of the people’ Gilliam are conspiring to lead a revolt up the train. The aim is to create a social democracy where all are treated equal.
The most striking element of the film at face value is of course the concept. Bong takes the study of inequality quite literally. The metaphorical commentary is quite clear from outset. The train directly represents the distribution of wealth. The train is under the power and jurisdiction of a small amount of people who occupy larger and disproportionate section of the new age society. In turn, Bong has set out an easy template for himself when it comes to social themes. The film very much seems to be focused on that. We learn very little about our protagonist. We don’t learn much about his past. It can only be assumed that a large part of his life has been spent on this train. As the films exists the best part of two decades after the climate disaster, much of the train population have only know this form of society. This limits the film from creating a context that understand how we lead up to this point. Bong most likely intentionally wants the film to exist in the context of the situation rather than the evolution. An acceptance of an uninhabitable earth means the rebellion is an aim for equal opportunity within the situation.
Tilda Swinton in Snowpiercer (Moho)
The film is a unique and intense thrill ride that brings you slowly up this long locomotive. Each carriage offers something completely different and provides set pieces for some of the most well thought and special action sequences you will see. Every part of the society that exists has to be passed through. Nightclubs, aquariums, schools, greenhouses, control rooms. Each one so unique you can never guess whats in the next. The speciality and diversification is only then channeled into the action sequences. The creativity at which the films goes about its head-to-heads is perhaps its shining light. Most specifically a sequence involving a darkly lit carriage, soldiers with night vision and a weaponless rebellion offers up an incredibly display of scene construction. The film is also unforgiving and relentless in slaughtering characters that some audiences may have warmed to. This is well justified through the claustrophobic and adverse nature of the setting we are living. In between this bloodshed we have moments of personality and reflection. Conversations about the forced cannibalism the people at the foot of the train were exposed to. A moment where a group of passengers see outside for most likely the first time in almost two decades. A moment that cannot be fully felt by the audience because of the uniqueness of the situation by treated with an admirable simplicity by Bong.
Snowpiercer provides a quite daring yet exciting spin on a dystopian future. A claustrophobic and quite literally narrow narrative would see many filmmakers disappoint with the space. However, Bong almost perfects it using every element of the concept to his advantage. Action sequences that will leave you on the edge of your seat. All while looking a the incredible set pieces designed in this very much one-off space. Taking place 17 years after the climate disaster means we know little about our characters and their lives in the previous version of earth. Something that could of created a real emotive motivation for our protagonist. However, the film has some other bright spots in Kang-ho Song’s character who is important to the rebellion’s plans despite being a junkie who finds it impossible to stay sober. All of these elements bring together a film that is more Oriental Express or Japanese bullet than overnight freight.
HOT FUZZ REVIEW
UNAPOLOGETICALLY STYLISH
UNAPOLOGETICALLY STYLISH
Nick Frost (left) and Simon Pegg (right) in Hot Fuzz (Universal, StudioCanal)
Tom Ball
Hot Fuzz is directed by master of montage; Edgar Wright. It is the second instalment in his makeshift ‘Cornetto Trilogy’ succeeding Shaun of the Dead (2004) and preceding The World’s End (2013). All three films star the timeless and ever lovable Simon Pegg and Nick Frost who remain one of this countries most successful cinematic dynamic duos. Who also starred in the two other Cornetto films as well as their stateside success; Paul (2011).
Pegg portrays perfectionist policeman; Nicolas Angel who gets ironically transferred from London’s Metropolitan Police Service too Sandford in Gloucestershire for constantly showing up his jealous colleagues. After arriving in Sandford he meets his new right-hand-man in Frank Butterman (Nick Frost). The two then embark on an investigation of the ages. Uncovering the secrets of a painfully ordinary town in England’s West Country.
The film is laced with the infectious and iconic editing styles that guide us through a somewhat insane but endlessly hilarious storyline. The tone is set instantly with an introductory montage that sums up Wright’s immaculate filmmaking prowess in the best part of 60 seconds. The perfectionism exercised throughout this sequence and the one following it only reflects Angel’s perfectionism as a police officer. On the other hand, it shows up the one dimensional and lazy approaches of popular Hollywood comedy. Edgar Wright doesn’t amuse with witty and/or crude written humour. He uses it as a side dish to a feast of visual comedy that has stayed etched into my memory more than any other Adam Sandler one liner. It also doesn’t make me worryingly question whether I’m too old and whether I’m too young at the same time like the ‘Sand-man’ does. Now obviously there is a benefit to the the comedy I am perhaps unfairly criticising. It is easy to watch. Come films that rely heavily on improv as well as humour through dialogue does feed into an experience that is easy to digest for a night-in. Therefore, it does beg the question; Is Hot Fuzz easy to watch? and the answer is an emphatic yes. It has all the giggly one liners and looks a hundred times as good delivering them from the South West of England as apposed to the beautiful metropolitans of Los Angeles and New York.
We are immediately setup with the key dynamic of the film. Angel’s unrivalled dedication to his duty as a Police Officer existing in the world of the lenient and welcoming. A brilliant example of the contrast between socially and economically diverse urban cities and the secluded and family orientated rural areas that take the law lightly. This issue is explored very precisely yet draws out the most enthralling conversations between uptight Angel and his friendly new neighbours. Angel’s suspicions about the teens are complimented with all the juiced up drama of an 80s action film. Crash zooms, dramatic close ups brilliant represent Angel’s displacement in the world he's been put in. The film then begins a journey that unravels mysteries behind the town all while Angel discovers much about himself. Furthermore, the best exercise in Pegg and Frosts unique and much loved on screen friendship. They both share an admiration for each other. They introduced to each other as complete opposites but work so brilliantly to create Britain’s shining star in the ‘Buddy Cop’ genre.
Pegg and Frost are surrounded by a cast that perform their roles as strikingly British community members excellently. They feed the dynamic between Angel and the rest of the town very well. Their welcoming and friendly personalities comes across as rather unsettling yet so easily appreciated as a someone who was raised in rural England myself. The film exists within a breeding ground of The UK’s best cinematic talent. Future Academy Award winner; Olivia Colman and now Hollywood regular Rafe Spall appear as members of the service in the film. Wright went on to direct stateside hits Baby Driver (2017) and Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (2010). Those films administered the same stylish, show-off styles and generate significant success and proclaim for Wright. It can only be said that the faith was manifested through Wright’s preceding masterpieces.
Hot Fuzz remains an important mast laid down by UK cinema. It deploys all the incredible romantic British details that allow to exist on our very doorstep. However, the film administers some of the best looking action sequences I've seen and blows many big budget Hollywood comedies out the water when it comes to laughs. The amusement of one liners involving beards, Bad Boys II and Cornetto’s cover every form of comedy you can imagine all while being one of greatest displays in visual comedies cinema has offered up. Wright also makes the film everything it should be. It’s aware of what it is and isn't pretending to be anything its not. Making it unapologetically stylish.